Filling in the Blanks

"Faith is allowing God to fill in the blanks."  Beth Moore

The other day I was reminiscing about those long nights of preparing for exams in graduate school.

Most people experience anxiety when faced with an exam, however, I would be particularly stressed

when I knew the format of the exam was either true or false or choose one answer.  They seem so

Starbucks was my friend when
studying for those exams!

black and white. Limiting.  Unforgiving. Since I'm a writer, I tend to like to think more creatively, therefore I prefer to fill in the blanks or write out my answers.  

Yes, those darn tests.

Then I thought about life.  I thought about God.  And those tests...

So often, we try to fill in the blanks during our life seasons of testing and difficulty.  We create scenarios and try to complete our own stories. We force things that don't fit. We panic, worry and stress over things that have yet to happen in our lives. Trying to write out our own story.

I love that God, our Father, our Savior, our Helper - He fills in our blanks.  He knew the questions before we were even faced with the test.  He even knew how we would respond to the test.  Yet, He doesn't write us off when we write in the wrong answer. His Grace, His Amazing Grace, works with us through the process.  He gently takes the pen from our hand and He continues to finish our story.

Our job is to hand God the pen at the very beginning. When we are faced with struggles, doubt, those tests... those darn tests - let's trust that God already has the answers and prepared to fill in the blank. He knows how your story will end.  Our job is to believe Him. 

Don't Neglect Your Gift

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It has been awhile since I have put pen to paper. For many years, it was the one thing I would do where time disappeared and I was swept into another time and place. The fruits of my writing brought clarity, tears, freedom, hope and built bridges.  I've always known it was a gift.

I was recently reminded of this God-given gift by my inquisitive and observant 99 year old grandfather. As he lay in his sick bed, with very little energy and breath, he looks directly at me and asks me: "have you been writing lately?"

Gulp....

Ashamed, I responded "a little ..." Yes, a few weeks ago I finished an article for Breath of God Magazine. And yes, I had written in my journal a bit.  However, other than that, I had mainly only written emails, proposals and marketing copy for work. Definitely not the type of writing that I know I've called and commissioned to do. The busyness and anxieties of life had gotten the best of me over the past year or two.  You see, the fascinating thing about writing - you need to be in the present, in the moment, in the now to truly write from your heart. You need to embrace and revel in the current situations of your life. Lately, I had been too busy pondering the past and worrying about my future to pay much attention to my "now."

My grandfather's question was stinging. It was a poignant reminder of my gift.  This gift that I had  neglected for the past year. Yes, this gift given from God and somehow inherited from this brilliant man, my grandfather. The minute he asked the question, I decided... no more. Never again.

Later that day, I asked my Grandfather: "What is something you would have done differently in life?" With very little breath, yet with no delay, he explained that he would have kept writing. He would have stayed in journalism school, despite the fact he was told that blacks were not allowed. He would have kept writing for the Akron Beacon Journal. He would have continued to use his gift. With 56 years between us, our reasons for not writing were similar; me staring at my past and grappling with the future, my grandfather taken by the war and distracted by racist views and how he would be able to move forward.

Are you using your gifts?  Are you doing that thing that God has called you to do?  If not, what are your reasons?

Life is short. We all say this when we hear of yet another death of someone we believe has slipped away too soon. Yet, if we know it and believe it, why do we squander our gifts, our love, our time, our smiles and our energy. We focus on the wrong things, the temporal things, instead of those eternal gifts, given to outlast even the strongest of us.

Don't neglect your gifts. Life is too precious to not do what you were called to do.